All my life I’ve been searching for myself, and I still don’t have a clear sense of who I am. I behave differently with different people; I feel like a leaf torn from a tree and tossed around by the wind. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I’m going. I have a nagging suspicion that something is wrong with me.
Sound familiar?
You look at other people’s lives and they seem clear, ordered, predictable. He knows where he’s headed. For her, everything goes according to plan.
In Human Design, some people are designed to have constant access to their identity – to know who they are, no matter their surroundings. For others, that feeling of self comes and goes. Then identity feels fluid, elusive, hard to hold on to.
When you’re in the company of someone with a steady sense of self, you feel that clarity too. When you’re alone, it fades. This isn’t inconsistency – your sense of direction is shaped by the people around you and the space you’re in.
You seek closeness with people who radiate stability. You want to be near them – not out of weakness, but out of the natural need to feel what, in you, is elusive. The problem comes when you stay in a relationship for that feeling, rather than for the real connection.
You have no plan. Others do. And you have feelings, interests, directions – but nothing seems solid enough. You wonder whether it’s inconsistency, or fear. Maybe laziness? It’s none of these. Your design is simply different, and you carry a flexibility in how you experience who you are and where you’re going.
People with fluid identity don’t stay fixed in one version of themselves. They move through different environments, people, ways of being – and each experience adds a nuance. Over time they gather a deep understanding of the many facets of identity and direction.
Flexibility isn’t weakness. It’s the way we gather wisdom. For people designed this way, identity isn’t a backdrop – it’s a compass. The right place, the right people – and direction falls into place; it doesn’t necessarily come from within, it comes from the space around us.
Do you recognise yourself? Can you describe who you are? Do you feel adrift? Do you have a plan for the next five years – or is it hard to plan your next step?
Where to from here?
If you recognize these questions, The Transition Map is the place to answer them. I help people who are living someone else’s life – to find their own. Six months of individual work in three directions – where you are, who you are, and which way to go – where, together, we analyze what in you is steady and what has been absorbed from your environment.
→ See The Transition Map
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